The Moos Room™

00;00;13;06 - 00;00;37;11
Emily
Welcome, everybody, to the movies room once again. I am here, Emily and Brad, in the studio in our respective studios today. And at the time of recording, we are kind of just before the holidays. Just before Christmas. And that, and so Brad and I thought, but, you know, of course, there's a million things going on, as there always is, and especially this time of year.

00;00;37;13 - 00;01;00;05
Emily
But we thought we would just kind of do a quick short episode today and talk a little bit about one of my favorite topics. And that's mental health and stress management, you know, so whether it is the stress of the holidays, whether it is some of the winter blues, you know, I think all of us have our mental health impacted this time of year, right?

00;01;00;05 - 00;01;22;10
Emily
Good and bad. There's a lot going on. And so, yeah, Brad and I just wanted to take a few minutes to, to kind of talk about some of that and to talk about taking care of ourselves and, and stress management. I, I will say, you know, I have received, an increased number of calls, in recent months, just as it's been called.

00;01;22;10 - 00;01;45;24
Emily
And, and again, I'm down in Rochester and we have not gotten a lot of sunshine here in the past two months. And and we know. Right. Sunshine, vitamin D that can impact the way we feel. And also in having some conversations with Moose Room guest Monica McConkey, who you may recall is a counselor, providing therapy free of charge to farmers in Minnesota.

00;01;45;26 - 00;02;09;07
Emily
I was just talking to her last week, and she said the same thing, that she is seeing a big uptick in calls, which, you know, is, is too bad, but it's also a good thing, right? It's a good thing people are calling. And so I thought we could kind of take that energy and, and put it into a quick episode here, you know, to talk a little bit about, you know, maybe you are feeling it too.

00;02;09;07 - 00;02;14;07
Emily
You know, I know I am I'm definitely feeling the winter blues. I am missing the sunshine.

00;02;14;10 - 00;02;55;00
Brad
I agree, I agree. We haven't seen the sunshine in a while here in western Minnesota, so it's it's kind of dragging. We've been we've had snow and fog and it's it is Minnesota at least where we're at. And that happens. But it seems like there's all blues and winter blues and affecting. And then it just it turns into other things when you start dealing with people in the holidays and it, it doesn't become winter blues, it becomes, I don't know if I should say rage, but there's a lot of other things that that go on and trying to manage everything at once, and it's very stressful and winter blues.

00;02;55;00 - 00;03;03;03
Brad
So it's it's important that we kind of focus on our, our mental well-being this holiday season.

00;03;03;05 - 00;03;20;10
Emily
Yeah, absolutely. You know and and right. You've already heard both me and Brad say like yeah we're feeling it a little. Right. And and that's I guess kind of the first thing I want to point out is that, like, you can be feeling it and still, you know, like I would say, Brad and I are still generally okay, right.

00;03;20;10 - 00;03;42;13
Emily
Day to day. I think it's really important, though, that both Brad and I do see that. Like, yep, I'm maybe not feeling 100%. So for example, one thing I'm able to do I have what's called a happy light, if you're familiar with that at all. So they are lights that can be used for seasonal affective disorder, also known as seasonal depression.

00;03;42;15 - 00;04;00;19
Emily
Or folks like me who, if you aren't getting a lot of sunshine and you start to feel a little glum. Yeah, it's a happy light and you can seriously just search for happy light. So it's lights that kind of help replace that UV. You just shine them across your face for like 20 minutes a day.

00;04;00;21 - 00;04;25;27
Emily
And that's one thing that I use to just kind of help, right? It doesn't cure me. It doesn't make me feel 100% better, but boy, it helps. And especially, like Brad said, right? When it's kind of like it starts winter blues, but then other stuff is happening, right? And more stressors are adding up. And so being able to kind of combat the winter blues can help reduce that other stress down the line, I find, too.

00;04;25;29 - 00;04;41;29
Brad
So do you just look at this lighter to tell me more about it? I, I googled it and it's like, cool. That's intriguing. It helps with winter blues and sleep disorders and a lot of other things. And they look like they're relatively inexpensive to you.

00;04;42;01 - 00;05;01;10
Emily
Yeah, you you can find them pretty affordably. And I want to be clear, I'm not like an expert on these. The way I use mine, which was the way I was instructed to. So mine came with some instructions on how to use it. I don't actually point the light like directly facing my face. The light is to the side of me.

00;05;01;10 - 00;05;23;06
Emily
And the point is, you want the light to be going across your peripheral vision. So that's how I use mine. So the light I have it sit to my right side and then it's facing my right side. And so yeah, it basically shines across my face that way versus directly at my face. And that's again for the lamp I have.

00;05;23;06 - 00;05;43;29
Emily
That is how I was told to use it. Those were the directions I was given. But yeah. And again, it's just about, yes, the way that our bodies can absorb that light or even just seeing, sensing that light, can help us. Produce some of that vitamin D that we're missing. I will say I also take supplemental vitamin D.

00;05;44;06 - 00;06;03;07
Emily
You can get it super cheap, over-the-counter. Just a pill I take every day. And that seems to help a lot, too. Just having that, that little bit extra. Well, I'm curious, Brad, so I use a happy light. Is there anything you do in particular when when you do feel yourself, experiencing the winter blues?

00;06;03;10 - 00;06;11;21
Brad
No, I, I really don't actually I shouldn't say no, I don't. I actually go outside. I like to be outside. So if I.

00;06;11;21 - 00;06;15;22
Emily
Was going to say, I know you're a walker, you will go on walks.

00;06;15;25 - 00;06;37;11
Brad
I go out for, that's usually what I do. Go out for a walk, maybe. And I'll walk maybe a mile, mile and a half or two miles a day. Kind of in either the afternoon, just after lunch to kind of break up the day or later in the afternoon just to to get outside and try to get some vitamin D and relax.

00;06;37;14 - 00;06;48;28
Brad
Even though the sun is, isn't shining, I think it's good just to get outside. So that's what I like to do is, is get outside. But I know that's not it. Not everybody can can do that. Right.

00;06;48;28 - 00;07;09;18
Emily
And maybe it's not getting outside, but the main thing you're doing, Bradley, is physical activity. And that's something right. We have talked about a ton on this show whenever we're talking about mental health. Right. And talk about physical activity, just moving your body because sometimes too that just distracts your mind when your body's moving too. And and we know there is that mind body connection.

00;07;09;18 - 00;07;32;10
Emily
So yes, getting outside. There's a lot to be said for nature and fresh air. But especially in the dead of winter, we may not feel super motivated to be outside. So just what can you do to move your body? I'm a big dance party person, so I like to just have some music playing in my kitchen and then, yeah, I'll just move my body for five minutes and you feel a lot better.

00;07;32;13 - 00;07;53;00
Emily
You know, kind of get your heart rate up, get some blood pumping. So, yeah, I think physical activity is is such a great way to, to kind of beat some of those winter blues as well, because we know right when you're moving your body and working out, you know, dopamine, endorphins, all those happy neurotransmitters, start to make an appearance.

00;07;53;00 - 00;07;55;23
Emily
And so that can definitely help as well.

00;07;55;23 - 00;08;21;11
Brad
One thing that I've always thought about or that I try to do as well, if I'm having some winter blues, is to put my phone down, stop scrolling through all the news, trying to just let that go for a while. And that's probably been one of the big things that's helped me as well, is to just let some of that stuff go, because what we see on the news or or hear about sometimes we can't control it.

00;08;21;11 - 00;08;34;28
Brad
And sometimes it's better to just let it go. And I know that's difficult to say and and difficult to do, but I think sometimes just putting your phone down and stop scrolling might help as well.

00;08;35;00 - 00;09;00;25
Emily
Yeah absolutely. And I know we've, we have talked about that you know social media and scrolling and you know especially around the holidays I think we're, you know we're seeing everybody enjoying their holidays. We might start doing some comparison, making ourselves feel bad that way too. And also yes, you know, there is a lot of stressful and hard news out there right now.

00;09;00;25 - 00;09;29;11
Emily
And seeing that, you know, on an unending scroll every day can also take its toll. And so I'll say I'm right there with you, Brad. In the past month, I have really my goal is at least once a day, right? Because I'll pick up my phone to look at it multiple times. We all do. But my goal is that at least once a day when I pick up that phone, I try to catch myself and and just tell myself, you know, like, is scrolling right now really going to help you feel better?

00;09;29;13 - 00;09;50;13
Emily
It's not right. And so at least once a day, I try to, you know, sacrifice one scrolling session. Right now I still do my scrolling and it may or may not be good or bad. Right. So we're not telling you stop completely. Right. Because that can be more stressful, right? When we're trying to force ourselves to do something we don't want to.

00;09;50;15 - 00;10;11;26
Emily
But yeah, just consider giving yourself a break. Right? So one thing I'll try to do is like instead of scrolling this time, let me grab this book. You know that I've been trying to finish for four months. I'm one of those people. I can never finish a book, so. Right. But but trying to find those other things that we can do and knowing that it's okay to disconnect for a little bit.

00;10;11;26 - 00;10;32;14
Emily
Right? I think sometimes in today's world, we feel like we have to be connected. We have to always be available. And I think the holidays are a really great time to at least take one day, right? To to let yourself step away or, you know, to know that you don't have to be available or letting people know you aren't going to be available.

00;10;32;14 - 00;10;49;19
Emily
Right? Hey, I'm going to run into town for an hour to go to lunch with my friend. My phone's not going to be on, right? I promise you things will be okay. And that can be. And it's hard for me to write to sometimes just separate myself and and, you know, but I've said it so many times, right.

00;10;49;19 - 00;11;03;16
Emily
Like, sadly, we are replaceable. You know, life life does go on. And so we need to be protecting ourselves and giving ourselves those breaks, right? Because nobody or nothing else will.

00;11;03;19 - 00;11;30;23
Brad
So we know that during the holiday season we spend lots of time with other people. And which can be especially with families and sometimes that can be stressful. And I know just sometimes even before you go into different events or you're driving to the event, it just becomes more stressful because you know, you're going to have to deal with people that have different views or you name it.

00;11;30;26 - 00;11;42;25
Brad
How do we work through the people pleasing, or how do we deal with the stress of other people during the holiday season? And what what can we do to reduce our stress?

00;11;42;27 - 00;11;55;04
Emily
You know, Brad, that's a very good question. Our goal was to keep this episode short. And so I'm going to try to stay in line with that. But I want to be clear. Right. This is something we could talk about for minimum.

00;11;55;04 - 00;12;14;26
Brad
Two, I agree, I agree. And the reason I ask is because I've been to some family functions already and they they're just too stressful. Sometimes I find myself disengaging, sometimes at some point during the day and going and sitting somewhere else. And then people are like, well, where did you go? I'm like, I just my mind is overloaded.

00;12;14;26 - 00;12;24;26
Brad
I need to, I need a break. I need a 15 minute break away from everybody and all the conversations to to just mentally, relax. I should say.

00;12;24;28 - 00;12;38;29
Emily
Yeah, yeah. And that's a great strategy that I will get to. Right. Kind of creating some of that physical space if you need it. And yeah, again, this is something we could probably talk about for hours. I will try to keep it short. Yeah.

00;12;39;01 - 00;12;43;06
Brad
Sorry to ask the long big questions, but that's what I know.

00;12;43;06 - 00;13;09;21
Emily
But but right. But I think it's something we all think about. And you know, I, I will be completely honest. We all know politically this has been a stressful year as well. And and I know, right, that there are tensions in families related to politics and other issues. And so, you know, this is a hard question to answer, but it's a very real concern, I think, for a lot of people, especially this year.

00;13;09;21 - 00;13;31;02
Emily
Right. Just because we've we've, you know, had a lot of disagreements and powerful conversations happening. And so it's very valid to be worried about that. You know, I and I get it, and you know, the advice I'm going to give, I just want to be clear, right. I know that this isn't going to work for every situation or for every person.

00;13;31;02 - 00;13;56;26
Emily
And I know some people in our lives just can't let stuff go. Right. And so, like, I want to be clear, I'm going to do my best to give you some ideas and some strategies. But but just know, right, that everything is also very situation and person dependent. But you know, a big thing I would say and Bradley already said it, he gave a great example and that's, you know, taking a break.

00;13;56;28 - 00;14;21;28
Emily
We've talked before about boundaries, you know, and and some people do not like that word. They think it's very negative. I think it's a great word. Right. And I think boundaries are very important. And we also need to remember that, you know, boundaries are not about causing people harm, right. Boundaries shouldn't be made with malicious intent. So to kind of go to Brad's example, right.

00;14;21;28 - 00;14;42;28
Emily
Like he said, he just kind of gets overwhelmed with the people, right? Like Brad is not the most extroverted person I've ever met, right? I am an extrovert, so I do pretty good at holidays, right? Like I can work the crowd for a while. It's all good. Brad is not that. And that is okay. Right? And so yes, sometimes you just need that break.

00;14;42;28 - 00;15;01;25
Emily
And so that is a boundary that you are creating. And like I said that may be a physical boundary, right? Brad mentioned walking out of the room. My tip for you and also whoever is hosting will greatly appreciate it. If you need an escape, go to the kitchen and start washing dishes because nobody will bug you, right?

00;15;01;25 - 00;15;22;16
Emily
Because nobody wants to help. And again, the the host, whether that's you or somebody else will probably quite appreciate that. So yeah, if there's something you can go do because then like Brad said, if people go, well, where were you? And maybe you don't want to say, well, I just got so overwhelmed I needed a break. You can just say, oh, I thought it'd be helpful to get the dishes started.

00;15;22;18 - 00;15;41;09
Emily
So, yeah, if it dishes some sort of cleanup thing. You know, I always like to volunteer to take out the garbage, because then I can just stand outside in silence for two minutes. I am an extrovert, but I also need my breaks. Right. So, yeah, maybe it's not that. Like, you can't get away from them for an hour, right?

00;15;41;09 - 00;16;00;24
Emily
You're going to have to wait till it's time to leave. But yeah, just how can you give yourself a quick break? Maybe it's going to the restroom, even if you don't need to use it. But just again, separating yourself for a few minutes, doing the dishes, doing something with clean up, or, you know, in my family, I have a lot of siblings.

00;16;00;27 - 00;16;25;02
Emily
So I have a lot of nieces and nephews. So also, if it's kind of like I'm done with the adult conversation, I'll go and play with the kids, right? And then I don't have all the stressful adult stuff to worry about. I just have to worry about Lego or whatever it is. So, you know, that kind of physical, like giving yourself space boundary, you know, another boundary I want to talk about because that's, you know, conversational.

00;16;25;02 - 00;16;52;03
Emily
Right. Again, they may be political. It may be some other topic where you and a family member don't agree. And it can be so hard, especially when we have somebody who is maybe confrontational, right. Or really trying to like get a reaction out of us. So really trying to goad us. But just know, again, it is okay to just say, I don't want to talk about this or saying I'm not comfortable talking about this.

00;16;52;05 - 00;17;09;14
Emily
And if they continue to push, you can continue to say that. And again, then maybe that's when you do get up and create a physical boundary as well. And I want to be clear, you don't owe people an explanation as to why. You don't need to say why you don't want to talk about it or why it makes you uncomfortable.

00;17;09;16 - 00;17;33;15
Emily
So, you know, that's my one little soapbox like you do not you do not owe people that. You can just tell them you're not doing it. You're not participating. You know, I don't want to have this conversation. I want to focus on the holidays. You know, whatever you need to say. And that can be hard, right? It's easy for me to say because I am an extroverted confrontation lover.

00;17;33;22 - 00;17;53;10
Emily
So I can do that. No problem. But, you know, it may be hard for you, but again. And it doesn't need to sound so harsh to, you know, if it's a conversation you don't want to be in, you can just say, I don't really have an opinion about that, right? Or you can't walk away, clear the dishes, go wash the dishes.

00;17;53;12 - 00;18;20;05
Emily
You know, find something else to to get yourself away from that conversation, too. Again, there's there's not always a right or wrong answer. And it can be hard depending on how many people are there and how big or small of a space you are all in together. But yeah, I would say and and if it's just yes, escaping to the bathroom to just be away for a minute and taking some deep breaths.

00;18;20;05 - 00;18;39;17
Emily
I mean, you do what works and and I'm somebody like, I really love this time of year. I do personally find it quite magical. But I also do find it stressful. Right? The people side of it can be hard, but I also really try to focus on like, I am not here to fight with my mom about my tattoos, right?

00;18;39;17 - 00;19;05;02
Emily
Like I am here to enjoy Christmas with my mom, right? Like so I just also kind of have that mind shift, and I think a lot of us will go into holidays already with the defenses up right, already feeling like I'm going to have to spend the whole time fighting or defending myself or doing this or that. And so also just think about the way you show up there, right, of knowing, you know what?

00;19;05;02 - 00;19;25;00
Emily
I'm probably going to have to confront some stuff that I'm not comfortable with, but I am here to celebrate this holiday or I am here to see my family. Right? I am here to, you know, give all these gifts to my little nieces and nephews, right? Like focus on why you really are there, right? Which hopefully is not to be there to fight with people.

00;19;25;00 - 00;19;36;02
Emily
So that was a very long answer to a very complicated question. But hopefully that gives you at least some idea of, of how you can navigate some of these situations.

00;19;36;05 - 00;19;44;10
Brad
So as we wrap up here, what are your tips for improving your mental health and well-being during the holidays?

00;19;44;12 - 00;20;12;17
Emily
Oh, and I will try to make it quick. So quick tips would be get enough sleep. It is so hard to be 100% yourself when you are tired, get enough sleep. And although maybe you're taking time off, kids are off of school, etc. try to maintain some sort of schedule because that can also really overwhelm us when our schedules are totally gone and we're just basically freestyling.

00;20;12;19 - 00;20;36;04
Emily
So sleep schedule eating enough, and, and talk to people, you know, talk to people about how you're feeling. Just be social. You know, because that's another thing with the winter blues is we feel really isolated sometimes, too. So I would say being social, you know, even if you think you don't want to go out, give yourself half an hour to be social.

00;20;36;10 - 00;21;02;09
Emily
You can always go back home after right. But yeah, those are kind of my quick tips and, and just being mindful of how you're feeling, right? Having a big sense of self-awareness and just knowing, you know, again, how am I showing up to this today? Right. Like I am feeling tired. So I'm just going to be mindful that I feel tired and, you know, try not to lose my temper or whatever it may be because I feel that way.

00;21;02;12 - 00;21;20;08
Emily
So just yeah, taking the time off before you head out to a holiday or to work or to whatever you are doing, you know, just pause for a moment and and do you know, I always call it a gut check, right? Like, just how am I feeling? Right? What's what's like the quick, diagnosis of how I'm feeling?

00;21;20;08 - 00;21;43;25
Emily
You know, the quick full body scan, you know, and and. Yeah, and also, just again, what what the attitude you show up with is going to be very important. And and knowing that, you know, you you can control yourself and, and you can put yourself into and take yourself out of situations readily.

00;21;43;27 - 00;21;48;28
Brad
So if you're really struggling and need help, where can we go?

00;21;49;01 - 00;22;10;28
Emily
Oh, so glad you asked, Bradley. Hopefully if you have been listening, to the museum for a while, you are aware of many of the resources that are available. But, in case you're new, we are fortunate to have a lot of resources. So in the state of Minnesota, which is where we are both based, there are a lot of state specific resources.

00;22;11;01 - 00;22;49;07
Emily
So in Minnesota we do have a farm and rural helpline. So that is a 24 seven confidential helpline that you can call just to talk to somebody. So that number (833) 600-2670. Again the Minnesota Farm Enroll helpline is 833 600 2670. Also, I did mention Monica McConkey at the top of this episode. So the Minnesota legislator does pay for two full time counselors, Monica McConkey and Ted Matthews, to provide counseling free of charge.

00;22;49;07 - 00;23;13;17
Emily
So no cost, no paperwork. And you can find Ted and Monica's information online, as well as the farm and rule information line number and, a ton of other information at noon farm stress.com. And I will say, if you are not based in Minnesota, you can find various resources at Farm aid.org.

00;23;13;19 - 00;23;20;23
Brad
That's very good to know, because sometimes people struggle to find places where they can go for help. And that is very helpful.

00;23;20;25 - 00;23;41;11
Emily
Yeah, absolutely. And just knowing that those are available and they're available because people use them. So, you know, you are not the first person to call Monica. You will not be the first person to call the hotline. You know, they're available because they do get used. So, just know that if you're feeling this way, I, I hope it's not forever.

00;23;41;11 - 00;23;43;17
Emily
And and you are not alone.

00;23;43;19 - 00;24;08;06
Brad
Well, with that, I think we've learned a lot today. We'll try to at least bring a little light to how we can avoid the winter blues and where we can go for resources is to help out during the holiday season. And, we hope that everyone has a wonderful end of the year. And, you can lead us out.

00;24;08;08 - 00;24;29;03
Emily
I'll wrap it there. So, yeah, thank you for listening. And I will echo Bradley's words. Have a wonderful end of the year, a safe and happy holiday season. And we are just so grateful to all of you for your continued continued listenership. Of the Moose Room. So thank you so much. Happy holidays from all of us here.

00;24;29;05 - 00;25;02;25
Emily
And if you have any questions, comments, or scathing rebuttals about today's episode, you can email those to the Moose Room at Umkc. Edu. You can also call and leave us a voicemail at (612) 624-3610, and you can find us on the web at extension NZ NZD. We will wrap there. Happy holidays. Bye.